Three out of four New Brunswick residents can't decide whether to laugh or cry at former President Trump's latest remarks suggesting Canada should become America's 51st state.
In local diners and Tim Hortons across the province, bewildered Canadians are choking on their double-doubles, wondering if they've collectively stumbled into some parallel universe where maple syrup suddenly comes with a side of stars and stripes.
You'll find Marie LeBlanc, a third-generation lumber mill owner, rolling her eyes while calculating how many more hits her business can take from American tariffs.
"First the 25% lumber tariffs, and now he wants to annex us? I suppose he'll want us to rename poutine to 'freedom fries with gravy' next," she quips, her voice dripping with that distinctly Maritime blend of humor and exasperation.
The border towns are particularly amusing to observe, where American and Canadian cousins have been side-eyeing each other across family dinner tables. International student Abrar Hussein believes Trump's comments are insulting to Canada's sovereignty and values.
In St. Stephen, where residents practically need a passport to borrow sugar from their neighbors, the very notion of becoming America's newest state has sparked conversations that would make a constitutional lawyer's head spin.
Local political science professor James McKenzie nearly spilled his coffee when asked about the feasibility of such a proposal.
"We've spent generations building our identity around not being American," he muses, adjusting his toque. "It's like suggesting penguins should just decide to become flamingos because they're both birds."
Meanwhile, cross-border business owners are maneuvering this diplomatic comedy with the grace of a moose on roller skates.
Sarah Thompson, who runs shops on both sides of the border, summed up the collective mood: "I've spent years explaining to Americans that no, we don't live in igloos, and no, we don't all know each other's cousins in Toronto. Now I'll have to explain why we're not keen on trading our healthcare system for a red, white, and blue makeover."
